Below you’ll find the song, Slide, by Chris Howland. It really expresses beautifully the core concept of The 1-Meal Fast — to slide away, get alone and hear from God. Text in italics are lyrics from the song. Enjoy the song here but then buy it and download it.

It’s lunch time and everyone in the office has either gone to the break room or headed out to one of the nearby restaurants. Everyone that is except you. Today, you slide away to the vacant spare office at the end of the hallway. The one with the lights out and the blinds drawn.

Fasting – the act of abstaining from food. Some do it solely based on the physical science and others do it as a religious practice. This one honestly doesn’t fall into the strict parameters of either. To be clear this is not the one-meal-a-day (OMAD) diet often referred to as the 23:1 intermittent fast (IF). It also isn’t the Daniel Fast, Jonah Fast, Ezra Fast or a 1,7, 10, 21 or 40 day fast – yep the kind Jesus did. This is, simply put, intentionally not eating 1 meal so that you can instead get alone for some quality time with God.

If you go to church with any regularity, you’ve likely heard the preacher talk about fasting. Theres a ton of scripture that can be cited and incredibly in-depth examinations of how to do it based on how people in the Bible did it. And, if you were to conduct an honest poll of people walking out of a Sunday morning sermon on fasting you’d likely find they are willing to try to fast but not confident they’ll really be able to do it.

A strategic pastor will schedule a 3-week sermon series right around the end of the year when you yourself already feel guilty about all the holiday overeating you’re doing. It’s a build up, a preparation, for a nicely timed all-church 21-day fast at the beginning of the new year, which coincidentally you may have been planning to do anyway as you join more than 64 million Americans who have a gym membership. The annual January pilgrimage to gyms is followed by the annual February Exodus from them. Gyms bank on it, regular gym members dread it. A sharp church preacher will capitalize on it with genuine hope that the fasting sermons and the fitness good intentions may actually result in you achieving at least some fresh spiritual gains and commitment. If the preacher goes easy on the congregation, you may get to choose the 1 thing instead of food from which you’ll fast. Like abstaining from social media for 21 days.

Sure, why not. Let’s at least try!

However while the much touted statistic/myth that in 21 days you can form a new habit may be true for some and certainly compelling to all of us (on average it’s actually 66 days – yikes!), making your faith in God a lifestyle requires something other than a 21-day group “we can do this”.

ALL OF THAT TO SAY: DO A 1-MEAL FAST

OK, so one of the primary reasons for fasting, from a Christian faith perspective, is to enrich your prayer time with God. In the below self-evaluation mentally check all that describe your prayer life:

✓ 1. I cry out to God or would try to cry out to God in an emergency (like right before an automobile impact)

✓ 2. I say a short prayer before I eat

✓ 3. I used to pray, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep”. Now, at least, I try to talk with God a bit before I fall to sleep.

✓ 4. When a group of people pray (like at church) I join along.

⊠ 5. I regularly get some quality time with God – AND God get’s some quality time with me.

Most of us can check 1-4. The last one, 5, not so much.

LET’S TALK SIMPLE STRATEGY TO FAST

Could you fast 1-meal once in a month? That’s maybe 30 minutes out of 720 hours in a month. Start simple to get started and then you can do more as you experience it. Breakfast, lunch or dinner? You decide but don’t cheat. Measure how much time you take for a meal and give your time with God at least that much time.

Let me slide away – oh let me clear my mind with you. Let me find a place just to spend a little time with you.

Where? Probably not in the break room, restaurant or home table. Identify in advance where that quite, undistracted and uninterrupted place will be. It is you ALONE with God or perhaps it is you and someone else alone with God. Look forward to that. No mobile phone, no texting, no emails, no waiting for a Zoom meeting to begin, NO INTERRUPTIONS.

What do you do? Focus on God. That might include some Bible reading, some praise and worship, some prayer (talking with God). But, it most certainly requires that you LISTEN to God – that is a skill that may take time to develop.

Communicate – ‘cause everytime you speak to me, you illuminate everything I need to see.

You might do several 1-meal fasts before you start to really get a sense of how you can listen to God and what you are hearing. When you commit to slow up you’ll find that you can’t get any better input/feedback or use of your time than with God. No one knows you better than the maker.

That’s it. It’s really that simple. Sure, if you need some water to drink while you’re doing you 1-meal fast then go for it but it’s unlikely that you’ll die of dehydration over this relatively short period of time.

SO WHAT’S THE POINT?

No, this fast isn’t going to help you loose weight. It isn’t really even intended to help you build discipline with your appetite although you might gain that as a possible additional outcome. And it’s not likely that you’ll have that biblically heroic moment that people talk about and go, “Wow, I wish I had that kind of faith.” But, the 1-meal fast is an intentional trade off of not eating so that you can capture some time and nurture commitment toward God. It lets you settle down and listen up.

PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL FITNESS BENEFITS

• Taking time in prayer can help reduce stress and nurture peace in you from God’s Spirit.
• Listening to God can guide you into being in God’s perfect will and plan for your life.

SHARE THE 1-MEAL FAST ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA

MORE ON HOW TO FAST AND PRAY

My Lenten Challenge – Fasting

How To Pray During Your Workouts

The post The 1-Meal Fast appeared first on Faith & Fitness Magazine.

THE BIG CHANGE

In 2005 they had begun asking questions like “Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?” Compared to 2005, in 2016 every single demographic group was more likely to say “no”. Heterosexual women were the statistical leaders with 25% being less likely to say yes. When they were asked, “Would you date someone just for sex?” again, every single demographic group said no more than in 2005. There was an overall drop of 10% in 11 years.

More evidence that agrees with this trend is a large US national research study of over 3000 young adults and high school students that was released in 2017 by Harvard University. Its findings were that a large majority of young adults are overestimating how many other young people are hooking up. This study also showed that 85% of young adults would prefer other options over hooking up, such as hanging out with friends or having sex within a committed relationship.

THE COLLEGE SCENE

From the hookup culture frontlines, the colleges, more evidence of women’s true desires surface. In a study of 832 college students, only 26% of women, but a full 50% of men reported feeling positive after hookup. Of the same 832 students 49% of women and 26% of men had a negative reaction after hooking up.

In research on specifically 152 college women only, 74% had either few or some regrets after a hookup; 61% had a few regrets 23% had no regrets, 13% had some regrets and 3% had many regrets. In a related study, college women’s, but not college men’s depression symptoms increased as their number of sexual partners in a year increased.

In yet another study focused on college students the authors found that 78% of college students overestimated others comfort with hookup behaviors, with men especially overestimating women’s comfort with hookups.

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

Moving our examination to the young adult bar scene, in a study of 169 sexually active women and men in singles bars, only 32% of men said that they would feel guilty about having intercourse with someone they had just met compared to 72% of women. Complicating matters further, in a study of 118 freshman female college students, participants shared that in 64% of cases hookups followed alcohol use. The average number of drinks in these encounters was three. This combination of binge drinking in order to numb the feelings of impersonal sex has become characteristic of many college campuses.

Most upsetting of all is the relationship of hookup culture with sexual assault. In a study of 178 college men and women, the participants revealed that most of their experiences with unwanted sex occurred while engaged in a hookup. As a matter of fact, 78% took place during a hookup, 14% during an ongoing relationship, and 8% on a date. It can be seen that in reality, hookup culture in many cases enables rape culture. No woman I’ve known or even heard of would ever choose to have to suffer through this!

So, the picture is pretty clear that this common sexual pattern that people are enduring in the Western world has many profound downsides, and that is particularly true for women. So, what do women really want? From both my personal experience and extensive research I have found that a large majority of women want to return to a world where there is commonly a relationship of love and respect between men and women. This entails returning to a culture where sex is reserved for his proper place: marriage.

BACK TO ROMANCE!

Women express to me that they like it when a man displays chivalry toward them. They like to be treated like a lady. This is why Jane Austen books and movies are so popular with women. They want to return to traditional courtship, traditional marriage, and traditional family. In other words, they want the kind of life that they see their great-grandparents and grandparents in many cases had. In a phrase, they want to get back to romance. That’s why there is a ROMANCE REVOLT taking shape across Western societies.

What is the foundation of this? Well, I believe it goes back to the beginning of human history. From the very start God made human females one-man women.

“Your desire will be for your husband”

Genesis 3:16 CSB

What do women really want this Valentine’s Day? Their God-given, innate nature compels them want to get back to romance!

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It was August 2021. I had just returned from a 13-month unaccompanied overseas tour in the Middle East with the US Marine Corps to reunite with my wife and son in San Diego, CA. We were in the midst of multiple major transitions and challenges as a family on multiple levels. One of the biggest ones was my reintegration as a military spouse/parent returning from an extended time away from my family based on my tour.

Going back to less time at work was nice and seeing my family was also nice not to mention now having weekends generally off aside from the occasional duty obligation, business trip, or training exercise. However, in my off-duty time, I now had a family to tend to at home where free time overseas was spent hanging out with friends, working out, reading, or working on a special personal project. I certainly had lost a sense of the daily rhythm of day-to-day family routines, especially in terms of raising a small child and handling the emotional ups and downs of a spouse in everyday life from the positives of fun recreation to the negatives of something getting broken in the house or in the car for example. On the other hand, my wife and son had gotten used to me not being there and had their own routines which were now disrupted having to take into account my presence as well. As you can imagine, reunification was a stressful time that took a lot of time, work, and empathy.

Obstacles to Personal Physical and Social Wellness

On top of reunification from my time overseas, we as a family were in the midst of moving into a new home and faced a series of health challenges exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic where we had to limit exposure of our immediate family members to the virus because of high risk for hospitalization and death at the time to a nearby grandfather diagnosed with cancer and a pre-school aged boy with upper respiratory complications. As a result, in order to minimize the risk of being exposed to the virus and bring it home to susceptible family members at the time I started working out with a sandbag and doorway pull-up bar as the only equipment in my garage. Over the next few months, I added a box jump, bumper plates, and a barbell.

The Birth of the Garage Gym Church Concept

I have always enjoyed working out as a way of relieving stress and while I was less than happy about being confined to the garage to workout by myself during that season of life, God used that time to work in me a new vision of what Christian outreach and discipleship could look like out of a chaotic and stressful time in my life where I was also very lonely due to the dual realities of trying to build a new support structure in the midst of moving to an entirely new job, physical location, and not being able to meet other people, especially Christian brothers and sisters in physical church settings. Over time I was able to rebuild this network as the situation with my family changed. That being said, much like an oyster is able to build a pearl with secretions of fluid over a sand particle irritation in its soft flesh, God birthed in me a new concept of growing spiritually individually, and corporately during my times alone working out in the garage with a concept I dubbed “Garage Gym Church”.

Satisfactory Physical Fitness But Not Enough Time for Spiritual Fitness

When I started working out in my garage gym I faced a dilemma regarding the amount of time I had fitting in my personal devotional time in the morning, quality time working out in the garage, showering and changing for work, walking the dog, and my morning commute to get a parking spot on the military base I worked at before it filled up forcing me to walk a much further distance. Trying to do a personal devotional or working out in the afternoon/evening was almost a non-starter with a young kid clamoring for my attention after work and a harried spouse who was glad to offload my son on me once I got home! I hate to admit it, but when forced to choose where I would take the cut between staying in physical shape and spending alone time with God, I started cutting corners in my alone time with God. Maybe you can relate. On weekends when I didn’t have to go to work, I still needed to get devotional and fitness time in before my now 5-year-old son woke up typically by 7 am. Sometimes I didn’t get even that and would be surprised to see my wife open the door between the kitchen and the garage to let my son wander in to join me in my workout while she either went to take a shower or stay in bed.

I found that integrating my morning commute of 20-30 minutes with devotional time either through prayer or listening to an audio Bible was a pretty good way for me to get my devotional time in while also snacking on a light breakfast of apples and boiled eggs while driving. That being said, I started to consider that maybe I could integrate motivational and educational content I have amassed over the past few years since 2017 that has been focused on my work with total force fitness in the military community. I decided though to try listening to content during my workouts in my garage that were both secular and Christian in nature to help me develop my mental and spiritual toughness along with my physical toughness first in the morning.

Integrated Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Fitness Training Sessions in the Garage

I discovered that playing educational audio content whether watching it on a TV or listening to it during workouts was challenging because my mind would get caught up in counting reps, thinking through my next workout steps, or losing focus on the content due to difficulty in exercise technique or sheer difficulties in the workout scheme as I was gasping for air during challenging sets. However, I discovered that listening to high-energy “life trainers” such as retired Navy SEAL Jocko Willink, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Pastor John Hagee, Pastor Steven Furtick, Joyce Meyer, and other motivational thought leaders both secular and Christian especially integrated with background music typically found in the adventure and war scenes of epic movies was a powerful physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual experience!

Using motivational content during the workout I for one was able to concentrate on the content for some reason I feel because it was somehow being psychologically tied to my mindset during and after the workout. Two, it literally pushed me harder as I felt the emotional uplift in the content give me literal physical strength and energy I previously didn’t have. Three, I was able to immediately tie the content in my mind not only with the physical challenges I was putting myself through in my garage but also the challenges I was having at home, work, and in my ministry. Four, the challenges of thought leaders such as Joyce Meyer talking about the importance of applying principles in life such as the command to “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” found in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 forced me to remember to think and speak positively vs. negatively which had an emotional uplifting shift. Just try thinking and speaking thoughts and words of negativity or complaining and consider how you feel. Now do the opposite to think and speak words of gratitude, courage, positivity, etc. and you will literally start to feel happier. Thoughts shape our feelings which shape our words, behaviors, and habits. I have learned to discipline my thinking both during physical exercise and in life in general. In a previous post, I speak on the importance of positive self-talk to physically get you through challenges which you can find here: Officers Don’t Fall Out of a Hike…Ever.

Difficult Fitness Experience Opens Up Heart and Mind to Pain and Growth

Furthermore, because the workout was physically challenging, my heart felt through my emotions and my overall mental state was more open to being challenged in the same way as well to suck up the pain and get stronger. I listened to multiple motivational videos from the Lion of Judah YouTube Channel including “Take a Stand: Never Give Up Child of God” while doing the “Jesus” Hero Workout of the Day on Good Friday and it was an incredibly uplifting experience to be reminded and challenged to go all out living for Jesus in my life when I considered all He had done for me. There were times I wanted to quit but I felt like I would literally be a hypocrite while listening to content telling me not to quit! This inspirational aspect was told to me by a Navy Religious Program Specialist during one workout in a military outdoor gym where he felt like he wanted to throw in the towel during the workout but was motivated by the content from Motiversity highlighting the famous story of David and Goliath along with others to persevere in the midst of challenges!

Starting Your Own Garage Gym Church Experience and Total Fitness Partners

After some time of tying in Christian and secular content to my garage gym workouts, I felt inspired by God that these training sessions could be easily something a small group of 1-4 other individuals could participate in depending on equipment, space, use of the driveway, etc. I noticed that in my neighborhood which was a military housing community, many of my neighbors had outfitted their garages into mini functional fitness gyms with pull-up bars and squat racks, various bumper plate sets, and other equipment. I even watched a group of about four ladies who were likely military spouses working out together between the garage and driveway with what looked to be some type of CrossFit or High-Intensity Interval Training group workout. Interestingly enough, what also made this concept in my mind start to emerge was logistically all it took was just one individual/family to open up their garage which most American homeowners especially have for a group fitness session. The amount and type of equipment vary but I was able to outfit my garage gym inclusive of a doorway pull-up bar, 145 pounds of bumper plates, a 45-pound barbell, a scalable 10-60lb sandbag, a 20″ x 24″ x 30 ” box jump, a jump rope, and a yoga mat for just under $800. My wife also wanted a $1300 rower as well which completed the setup. I also had my military equipment including a flak vest for weighted vest training and my rucksack to round out the training. If you go to Rogue Fitness Garage Gym Equipment Packages, you will find some fairly inexpensive scalable options for starting out your own garage gym. What’s nice about the garage gym concept for starting an individual, partner, or small group training program is the initial investment is not all that much. Even if you just want to try out the concept, you can literally do bodyweight workouts in your garage or purchase a sandbag from a company such as GoRuck. From a Christian hospitality standpoint, turning your garage into a space for the neighborhood, co-worker, family, or friend outreach is not all that far-fetched when you consider many church life groups today operating out of lay leader home living rooms, kitchens, and patios. The operating cost is practically the same whether you use the space for Christian outreach or not and for churches considering this concept, the “ask” of members really is just to consider throwing in a workout with amazing content for small group discussion!

With that being said, I would like you to consider the “Garage Gym Church” concept in the New Year as a way of developing yourself and others physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you are looking for a good playlist, please subscribe to the Freedom Fitness America YouTube channel “Shoot, Move, Communicate” and join our brand new “Tactical Garage Gym” private Facebook Group where we will be posting a weekly workout challenge + personal development content both secular and Christian in nature along with updates on outdoor adventure total fitness training opportunities. Furthermore, if you are looking for a regular “done for you” training program to follow in your garage gym, consider our “Tactical Garage Gym” training program that includes nutrition tracking, regular motivational content to listen to during your workout training sessions, and easy to follow functional fitness workouts designed originally for tactical athletes with exercise video links all delivered from the confines of your smartphone! Lastly, please feel free to join a combined Faith and Fitness Magazine and Freedom Fitness America 30 min Focus Group Zoom Call at 0730 PST on Jan 10 to learn more about how to get involved in the Garage Gym Church movement in 2023!

Fit for the Fight and Life,

Chris Reardon

Major, US Marine Corps

Founder/Executive Director

Freedom Fitness America

https://freedomfitnessamerica.org

The post Turning Your Garage Into a Place of Physical AND Spiritual Fitness in the New Year appeared first on Faith & Fitness Magazine.

A CHRISTIAN DISTINCTIVE

Contrastingly, at Christmas we begin to think of giving gifts and receiving gifts to and from our loved ones. Sometimes we don’t realize the value of the gift of sex in a loving monogamous relationship that we share with the love of our life, our spouse. An outstanding hallmark of Christianity from the beginning has been monogamous marriage. Christians stood out within their communities because of it. It has also stood the test of time and there are so many benefits to sex within monogamous marriage. Let’s take a look at some of them.

First of all, sex is a great releaser of stress. Sex within marriage doesn’t carry all of the negative baggage that sex previous to, or otherwise outside of marriage carries like guilty feelings, regret, worry about STI’s or an unwanted pregnancy with someone who is not your spouse.

BENEFITS ON MANY LEVELS

Sex within marriage leads to greater and greater levels of intimacy. You get to know each other better and better in a way that no one else on earth does. This helps develop a trust relationship that is sure and steady. In happy marriages this can have interesting physical benefits. Happily married couples blood pressures drop when they sleep together. Their heartbeats synchronize as well. Their hearts literally beat as one because of the assurance that they have that their spouse loves them absolutely and has their back at all times.

The physical contact involved in this helps us to bond more strongly all of the time. There are endorphin receptors throughout the skin covering of the body and they react to intimate and loving touch, which generates endogenous (or internal) endorphins, a kind of super relaxant. Hugs contribute to this, and married couples are encouraged to hug each other at least eight times per day.

LIFE LENGTHENING AND ENHANCING

Another great benefit of married sex is that it is antiaging. Cells in the body that are anti-inflammatory are released during sexual activity. This helps the body to be able to repair more effectively and seems to be a built-in way that the wellness and well-being of the married couple is enhanced.

Sex within marriage raises our immune system by causing the release of an antibody called immunoglobin A. This helps protect our bodies against invasive bacteria and viruses. A lifelong marriage is a very holistic stabilizing factor physiologically for a couple.

SLEEP LIKE A HUSBAND AND WIFE

An awesome married sex life helps us to sleep better because oxytocin is released substantially after orgasm. Cuddling afterwards and going to sleep is very natural and healthy. It helps us to have healthier looking skin as it promotes blood circulation, and it even helps women to have lighter periods. Many women have cramps during their monthly period, and regular sex to orgasm can make a difference through frequent uterine contractions that help expel toxins and tissues.

Sex within marriage raises our moods and gives us a more positive outlook on our spouse. If we are reflective we see that it’s benefits go far beyond immediate pleasure. When we look at the physical and spiritual fruits of our married sexual relationship: our children and grandchildren, it is obvious that this is definitely one of God’s most important gifts to us. After all, his first words to humanity were to go forth and multiply. As they say, this is the gift that keeps on giving as we experience one wonderful and memorable Christmas after another, year after year, and decade after decade.

GOD’S WAY IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY

Married sex is a wonderful example of men and women displaying consistency, intentionality, and most of all faithfulness. This is what God intended for humans and without doubt, it is best for us. As noted above, it pays dividends multi-generationally to a family and then to all of the lives that a family influences in their lifetime. As we have seen before, it is always in our best interests to do things God’s way. Profound and magnificent blessings follow in that pathway. One path leads to death, the other path leads to life. Let’s choose life!

Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

Hebrews 13:4 CSB

Sources: Importance of Sex in Marriage: 15 Physical & Psychological Benefits

5 Reasons Sex Within A Marriage is the Best Sex You Will Ever Have

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Some of these young people who had done this in some cases for over a year seem to be some of the most well-adjusted and mature young adults that I had ever had the honor to work with. With their choice to do this they had absolutely demonstrated consistency, intentionality, and faithfulness to their Christian beliefs. They seem to be very happy and in control of themselves after having taken their impulses under control and lived a life that was the polar opposite of most of their college friends for an extended period of time.

GOOD CLEAN FUN

One of their characteristics that really stood out was the way that when we were all in a group, we would all be laughing about some of the funniest morally clean things that happened to them on their journeys that I could imagine. There was something just really good about being able to laugh about these things that happened that demonstrated their strong commitment to ethics and morality but were at the same time, sidesplittingly funny circumstances among these young adults who were now in couples and navigating relationships. It was the old expression “just clean fun!”

I made a mental note of this, and beyond a strong admiration of what they had demonstrated, did not give it much more thought. That is, until my research brought me upon the concept of dopamine depletion. This is a widespread phenomenon in our 21^st century society. Basically, the problem is that as outlined in earlier posts, our lives do not match up very well with the lives of our ancestors. Here, we are having too many hedonistic pleasurable experiences in close succession and chronically. Our ancestors had very few of them and had to work very hard to get them.

MODERN DOPAMINE SPIKING LIFESTYLE

What am I talking about here? Well for one thing the way we typically eat. For example, the amount of sugar we consume per day now compared to the past. In 1700, the average intake of sugar per day was about 5 g. By 2009 the average had risen to 227 g per day. Sweet tastes spike dopamine levels. Every time dopamine spikes it crashes and lowers the baseline level. Eventually this leads to depression and the need to eat more and more sugar to get the same pleasurable high.

The same thing happens with sex. Hookup culture with its continuous casual sex to orgasm does the same thing to dopamine except more extremely. The same is true of porn use. Again, this is not Natural Lifestyle Matching in any way. Hookup culture and porn use can be looked at as behavioral addictions that are dopamine depleting. The dating abstinence that I have witnessed from the young adults I’ve had the honor of working with this year has the opposite effect. It is dopamine replenishing.

JUNK FOOD AND JUNK SEX

So, a hedonistic lifestyle, whether it be in the area of eating or the area of sex, is destructive to humans. One way we can think about it is that neither Junk Food nor Junk Sex is good for us. The Bible speaks to this:

“If you find honey eat just enough-too much of it and you will vomit.”

Proverbs 25:16 NIV

“Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”

1 Timothy 5:1-2

          This clean, biblical approach to life allows us to relate to each other with a clean conscience and really become good friends that can have a great time together. When I saw these young adult women and men relating to each other in this way, it made me and them laugh!

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SEX DRIVE DIFFERENCES

When it comes to sexuality, as we have seen in earlier posts, men and women are profoundly different. One of the greatest areas of difference is in the ease of the ability to arouse one sex versus the other. It should be clear by now to anyone who is been reading these posts that is generally much more challenging for women to become aroused than for men. There are many factors that contribute, for instance the comparative levels of testosterone. The women with the highest testosterone levels register 75 ng/dL while the lowest men register 200 ng/dL. When graphing female versus male testosterone levels, they are not even on the same graph. This differs from height for example where some women are taller than some men.

Another reason for this difference in arousal/sexual response potential is brain anatomy. We should remember that the sexual pursuit area of males brains is 2 ½ times larger than females. It is also packed with twice the density of neurons in these areas as the female brain. One other factor that makes typical young men supercharged sexually is that these brain areas are sensitive and react to testosterone levels. Yet another factor comparatively dampening female sex drive is the fact that females have much higher levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG binds to hormones and makes them incapable of making changes to the cells. This means that only what is called free testosterone can have these stimulating effects. Some women have 13 times more SHBG than men.

WOMEN’S SEX DRIVE CHALLENGES

For all of these reasons it can easily be seen why most women have a much lower sex drive than men. As a matter of fact, Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or female sexual interest/arousal disorder is the most common sexual disorder in women. There is one more complicating factor with women as well. Their sex drives are strongly related to their ovulatory cycles. Their levels of estrogen and testosterone increase greatly before and through their ovulation but especially in the five or six days prior to ovulation. As estrogen and testosterone decline in the days after ovulation progesterone rises to take their place and it has more of a sedating effect.

US CLUELESS HUSBANDS

For many husbands (including me previously) who have no idea or knowledge about all of this about their wives, and their sex drives, it can prove to be very mysterious and possibly even frustrating. I am encouraging husbands to get educated on their wives’ sexuality and put that education to good use in helping her to reach satisfaction as well.

A couple of other characteristics that are important for husbands to know is that the pelvis of their wife is unique among women in how it is innervated. The various parts of her sexual organs have differing nerve wiring proportionally from other women which makes their sexual anatomy unique to them, like a thumbprint. Without getting too explicit this means that husbands need to get to know their wives intimately and learn what stimulates them and what doesn’t. Additionally, a wife’s autonomic nervous system (ANS) has to be able to relax fully in order for her to reach climax. All of this biology screams for marriage and monogamy for humans and against hooking up and promiscuity, especially from a female perspective! There is very little chance that a woman will reach satisfaction through casual sex and the research supports that.

GOD’S DESIGN FOR SACRIFICIAL MARRIAGE

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Ephesians 5:25 CSB

To conclude, God has designed the marital act to take place in the context of a loving, lifelong committed relationship between a man and a woman. In this trust relationship a married couple can practice the marital act over and over again with more and more intimacy. Married love is not about instant gratification and what we (especially men) get out of it. It is the kind of love that is modeled throughout the Bible and especially by Christ in his sacrificial love for us. This is obviously a tiny sacrifice compared to Christ’s but an important one for the health of our marriages. Husbands, with mindful and intentional practice with our wives, we can provide them with the same kind of satisfaction we achieve each time they unite with us in the blessed marital act. They will be happier, and we all know the saying “when Mama is happy everybody’s happy!”

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“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Winston Churchill

It was almost over. The men and women who had braved one of the toughest athletic endurance events in America were so close to finishing their GoRuck Heavy event after having completed a grueling 24 hours with over 40 miles of hiking with a rucksack stuffed with weights and a water bladder. Other than that, they carried a headlamp, and any gear they thought they might need. They didn’t know the finish line but they were almost certain they had completed the hike because they were so near where they calculated they would be stopping in their minds. They had made it so far in an event where there is a 50% dropout rate…every 1 of 2 participants fails to complete the hike. you might need. Then their instructor cadre informed them that they were to get their packs on and continue hiking. At this point, many participants straight up quit and were like “screw this” and began to head home because they figured they had enough.

However, there were a few brave and committed souls who picked up their pack, shrugged their shoulders and marched on for what they thought would be miles. In the end, the instructors met them about a quarter of a mile down the road and told them they were finished. They passed the test. The instructors just wanted to see who had the mental and spiritual fortitude to keep sucking up pain until they find victory…not when they felt like they have had enough pain.

The story above was recounted to me by a Marine veteran friend of mine Chad Hiser over a zoom call one day with another Marine veteran, Drew Toothman (GySgt, USMC (Ret), an Explosive Ordnance Disposal technician who had served in combat operations in the post 9/11 era. Drew listened to the story and then told us one of his own about a unit of Marines on a training hike. These Marines saw what looked to be their trucks that signaled the end of their grueling hike and relief sitting in the back of a 7-ton vehicle while driving back to their home base. Their Executive Officer however told them to keep going because those trucks weren’t theirs. The Marines challenged him saying, “sir, those look like our trucks.” He said, “no, those aren’t our trucks.” As the Marines pushed past the vehicles which to them was their finish line, many fell out of the hike at this point because they felt they could go no further. After observing this for some time, the Executive Officer stopped the training evolution, gathered the Marines up, and explained to them that indeed the trucks they saw were theirs. However, he had them push past the trucks because he wanted to make a point: the Marines in this unit needed to learn how to keep sucking up pain even past the point they felt was the finish line. In combat, there is often no sign of when relief is in sight and the Marines needed the grit to keep pushing long after they feel they are ready to quit. Their very lives are on the line.

As fellow Marine veterans, we pondered what is it in a man or woman to keep pushing through pain long past when they thought it would be over. We recognized that the issue at stake was not so much one of physical endurance but of mental and spiritual endurance in all reality. When men and women are pushed beyond their limits and are forced to decide to keep going or turn back, what they ultimately choose tells both them and others what they are ultimately made of and is more of a determination of their ability to have victory than any obstacle right in front of them.

In my personal life, I have faced this sense of non-stop pain from an emotional and mental standpoint and I can tell you that many times when I wanted to quit because there was no relief in sight for a long time, the only thing that kept me going was the thought that if I quit, then I am certain I will never achieve what I set out to go for. In the fall of 2021, I was fairly confident that I would get selected for promotion in my Marine Corps career and finally have a sense of being able to take somewhat of a break from pushing as hard as I had been over the past few years, especially with a sprint of a 13-month overseas unaccompanied tour that I had just returned from that summer. To my dismay, I was called up by a 3-star general telling me that unfortunately I was not selected for promotion. This was stunning to me despite my overall solid performance record. I recognized that I had only about five months of time to really showcase my performance on an evaluation that typically would take place over a year in order to give me whatever leg up I had in the next promotion board which based on previous selection statistics went from about a 76% selection rate to 6%. The temptation to throw in the towel and give in at this point was immense. I weighed my options. Not getting selected on the second round meant that I stood a good chance of being involuntarily separated from the Marine Corps before 20-year retirement eligibility with the goal of being able to have healthcare benefits, especially for my wife and 4-year-old son who had a lot of health issues. On top of all this, I was facing my own setbacks at home still needing to maintain social isolation and strict COVID protocols such as masking at work when everybody else was now mask-free because of my wife, son, and father-in-law’s immunocompromised issues. Should I give up on my career dreams and try desperately try to find another line of work in such a short time to continue providing for my family? Or should I buckle down and do everything in my power to at least know I gave it my all for this promotion and if failing in that outcome at least know for the rest of my life I had least given it my all? I continued to ponder my lot in life. At this point in life, I was also having to take a ton of time off from work to watch my son in order to help my wife through various health challenges due to a lack of being able to deal with these due to COVID-19 medical center delays and my extended time away from home. I couldn’t just slave away at work because then my family would also fall apart.

On top of all this, the non-profit ministry I had launched right before COVID started had not taken off like I had expected for many reasons despite my diligent efforts. Funds were dwindling, volunteers, facing their own life challenges were quitting, and I could not seem to get the traction I needed to get the cause off the ground. Both well-meaning and ill-meaning people challenged had their rounds of unwarranted criticism during this season to make matters worse.

Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I was past my breaking point. I had been on a long…long GoRuck Heavy of life that honestly had been in a series of ups and downs since 2010 but most certainly since 2016 where the storms of life picked up and never really abated with one thing after another. The finish lines that I had imagined in my head were beyond my sight and there was no certainty of relief in sight. My faith was at a crossroads and what I would do next in this season for good or bad would be for keeps and consequential not only for the rest of my life but for my eternity and others. As my mentor, Kurt Parsons, a retired US Navy Officer who had been through Navy Diver, SEAL, and pilot training had once told me, “Christopher, you have one life to live so go big or go home.” I had decided to go big and I wasn’t going home…ever. I would fight to the very end or at least die trying in terms of holding the line in all the areas God had called me to in terms of my family, career, and ministry. In the midst of my garage gym workouts, one of the audio tracks I listened to often was from Winston Churchill’s speech to his nation during World War II where he encouraged his fellow citizens to “never, never, never give up.” I decided I would do the same. Failure might be an option but quitting wasn’t.

You may have heard the term “don’t give up the ship.” This phrase comes from the dying words of the Captain of the USS Chesapeake, James Lawrence, during a naval battle with the British against the HMS Shannon during the War of 1812. Although James would die from his wounds and his ship eventually had to surrender, his words inspired his crew and others in the naval force. In fact, his friend Oliver Hazard Perry had his words written on a large blue battle ensign which flew on Oliver Perry’s ship 3 months later in a victorious engagement over the British in the Battle of Lake Erie. This original flag still hangs in Memorial Hall of the US Naval Academy as an inspiration to Navy and Marine Officers over the years to keep fighting the good fight even when it seems like all is lost and it seems like the best choice is to quit. As was mentioned in the GoRuck challenge, it appeared at first that the challenge would go on forever, but the brave souls who persevered only had a little more to go. They just didn’t know it. Oliver Perry’s men only had 3 more months to wait before they finally found victory against the British and the war outcome tilted eventually in the favor of the US as history tells us. From their initial vantage point though, they didn’t know it. That’s the tricky part of these challenges in our life. We just don’t know when our victory will come…how long will we have to continue holding. Have you ever been there or are you there right now?

How do you keep pushing when your emotions and mind are screaming to you to go home? Here are some of the ways I have learned to do this in my own life to help you find strength in your own battles to keep going and never surrender to the tyranny of dark days:

1. Always Remind Yourself of “Why” You Started in the First Place. Remember what you are fighting for that got you started in the first place. Decide in your heart that no matter what hell or valleys you experience, you will never quit until you finally have victory. Even if you are forced by circumstances beyond your control to change course, remember you are not retreating…only fighting in another direction. The writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews encourages his readers to keep in mind their example as Jesus of Nazareth who endured the shame of the cross for the dream before Him of reconciling man to God and being exalted to the right hand of God forever. He and others who followed the God of the Bible endured much in order to achieve their dreams and achieve victory. We do well to keep them in mind as examples when we are tempted to quit on our dreams as well.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 (Berean Standard Bible)

2. Remember how far you have already come. When we are tempted to give up, we often only think of the negative aspect of the pain we have endured and not how far we have come. Quitting will guarantee our suffering has been in vain and we will essentially “throw away” our past efforts. Of course, there are times when life circumstances determine we alter course because we have no other practical choice, but this should be done with the intent of moving forward in life, not giving up on our ultimate why. If you recall my inspiration from Winston Churchill, he encouraged his people when all seemed lost. Europe was now a fortress for Hitler. The French overt government was toppled and the land was occupied. England’s army was forced to retreat at Dunkirk only narrowly missing annihilation by being rescued by citizen mariners across the English Channel. He prepared his people to fight to the very end. He gave the roar of the lionheart in the midst of his people who slowly but surely began to turn the tide when all seemed lost. Recalling also inspiration from the writer of Hebrews who was telling his fellow brothers and sisters in faith to hold the line in spite of the hell they were going through can also inspire us today:

Do not throw away your confidence; it holds a great reward. You need to persevere, so that after you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

Hebrews 10: 35-36 (Berean Standard Bible)

3. Put one foot in front of the other. Figure out what steps you can continue to sustain indefinitely even if they are painful. Force your brain to focus on what you can do today and what you can reasonably plan for positive future outcomes. If you sense a strong likelihood of a future fight, envision yourself fighting through to ultimate victory. Don’t let yourself dwell on thoughts like “I don’t know how much more I can take.” Instead, tell yourself “I can take this next step….and the next.” I was recently helping my 4-year-old son achieve a relatively difficult obstacle at the playground where he was off the ground and scared of the height. He didn’t know if he could continue to move forward. I told him, “take the next step.” He did. I told him, ok, “take the next step.” He did and this continued all the way until he completed it. I was teaching my son how his dad has gotten through difficulties in life and how he can do the same. Years ago I was given the opportunity to complete the Navy SEAL Confidence Course and I remember being up on the “slide for life” which is an approximately 200-foot rope about 40 feet off the ground. Going back down was significantly scary and out of the question for me but I was also scared of falling too wondering if I would make it to the end. I chose to mentally focus on each pull of my arms while pushing with my leg despite the swinging of the rope and my fear of heights as I lay on top of the rope. I eventually made it to the end not because I focused on the whole obstacle in front of me or the ground beneath but because I kept focusing intently instead on each pull in front of me recognizing I had the strength to do that. Navy SEALS and other high-performing enduring athletes call this “segmentation”. They refuse to focus on the entire race but only on what is immediately in front of them. This way their mind is not overwhelmed. The cliche phrase of eating an elephant one bite at a time holds true. There is a story in the Gospels about Jesus calling his protege Peter out of the boat to “walk on water” towards Him. Peter initially was enthusiastic about this and literally started to “walk on water”, but the tax collector-turned-Gospel writer Matthew tells us that “when Peter saw the wind and the waves he became terrified and began to sink.” (story found in Matthew 14:22-33). I wonder what would have happened if Peter had kept focusing on each step recognizing that he was literally walking where the winds and waves could not stop him as long as focused on each step toward Jesus, he would have made it. Truth is, I’m reminded of this in my own storms of life to do the same. It is easy to judge Peter for getting afraid, but you and I are tempted with the same mindset in our own serious storms of life.

Jesus furthermore encourages his followers to focus on what they have to do in a given day vs. worrying about the future when he says:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34 (New International Version)

In the end, remember God had you yesterday, He has you today, and trust He’ll have you tomorrow. Worrying isn’t going to help and by focusing on your next step, you will stay calm and eventually walk right into your victory! This leads me to my next point.

4. Remind yourself of God’s promises, but release the “when” and how. When I look at hardships I have struggled with in the past or that I am currently struggling with, the reality is not that I can’t face the pain of today. I can do that. I may not want to, but I can. When I set out on a journey to accomplish anything I feel God calls me to do, I need to remember the promises He has personally given me or shared in His Word and trust that He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me. At the exact same time, I need to release the “when” and “how” because feeling the need to answer those questions will literally drive me crazy as I imagine it will you as well. So I have to have the mindset that anything I feel God has called me to do will come to pass, but at the same time, I need to accept the reality that since I don’t know when or how, I need to live faithfully in my current circumstances until they change. I need to just keep taking positive steps forward in life or at least sustaining what I know to be right and true in life. Paul of Tarsus who had a vision for what God had called him to do despite many setbacks told those he was mentoring in words that still ring true today the following:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

So, whether you are setting out to complete a physically and mentally grueling challenge or you are struggling to stay steadfast in doing good in some area of your life whether it be staying faithful in a difficult marriage, continuing to hold the line in a difficult season of parenting, persevering through a difficult patch in business or ministry, or are struggling through a physical health challenge that won’t seem to end, know that you can make it to the end. Just don’t quit. You will eventually walk into your promised land if you remain faithful.

Land of the Free Because of the Brave,

Chris Reardon

Major, USMC, US Naval Academy Class of 2007

Founder/Executive Director of Freedom Fitness America

“Fit for the Fight and Life”

If you are a military, law enforcement, fire/rescue, or first responder professional or would like to train physically, mentally, and spiritually to have the warrior mindset to achieve victory in the field and in life, then check out Tactical Garage Gym or email me at chris@freedomfitnessamerica.org to learn more!

“The appearance of U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) visual information does not imply or constitute DoD endorsement.”

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ROMANCE LOWERS TESTOSTERONE

It is extremely important that most young people get on a pathway that is going to lead to a happy and a lifelong marriage, for their safety and well-being sake, and this is especially important for males. Excess testosterone is the root of many young men’s physical, emotional, and mental problems. When a man romantically commits to a woman his testosterone drops. If they get married, it drops further. If the couple then has children his testosterone will drop even further. In some research fathers have shown testosterone levels that are 50% lower than unmarried men with no children. As we learned in Part 1, constant high testosterone levels are bad for any species of God’s creation. An example cited was deer who only have high testosterone and antlers during the fall rut each year.

In the past 60 years there have been forces in our society that have tried to push us away from a culture where premarital chastity was honored and reinforced by societal norms. In 1960 for instance, in our 20 to 29-year-old population, there were three times more that were married. For that matter in 1960, 75% of all of those over 18 and older were married. One other telling statistic is that in 1960, 5% of children were born out of wedlock. By 2010, 40% of our children were being born without the benefit of their parents being married.

FATHER PRESENCE IS HUGE

This situation where more and more of our children are growing up in homes headed mostly by single mothers (many of whom are doing a heroic job) is helping to lead to many of the negative social situations in our society. Children need both parents as strong role models. Because of the explosion of testosterone at puberty, especially at ages 13–15, during which it increases 30 times their boyhood levels, the need of males for strong male role models in their father’s is imperative. If they don’t experience it, then often times they will look for it elsewhere. The females in the family, and especially sisters, also provide important lessons on what girls behavior is like in everyday life. Young men whose first experience with similar age females is dating often do not know how to relate to them and are scared to even try. The family is God’s relationship training ground.

MARVELOUS AND MAGNIFICENT MARRIAGE TO THE RESCUE!

For all of these and many more reasons Marvelous and Magnificent Marriage acts as excellent therapy for Testosterone Trap Trauma and provides safety for the Male Danger Zone. Marriage is Testosterone Trap Therapy for males. It protects them from the Male Danger Zone through the aforementioned lowering of their testosterone levels, but it also focuses them on good things. Marriage molds men into producers, providers, and savers. Married men are more committed to the workforce, they have fewer addictions, they commit less crime, and they are less likely to become crime victims themselves. They also have better health and are less prone to accidents.

Then the Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper corresponding to him. Genesis 2:18 CSB

In Genesis we read that God recognized that it is not good for man to be alone. Being married helps a man on so many different levels. Brides bring with them into the marriage a natural ability to create and maintain social networks. Husband’s benefit from this mightily. When divorce happens that network generally goes with the wife. The result of this and many other factors makes married men have better immune systems, have lower levels of depression and stress, less likely to commit suicide or murder. In fact, married men are 250% less likely to die prematurely then divorced men from all causes! This is a great example of Natural Lifestyle Matching because this pattern of young men and young women finding each other, falling in love, getting married and having a family has repeated itself for thousands of generations.

Even so, some young men having escaped the Testosterone Trap earlier, have a tendency over time to seek extramarital relationships. God’s wise design for Marvelous and Magnificent Marriage with all its benefits stands the test of time though. Males would do well to keep the wisdom of the Bible as their unfailing guide for their lives.

Let your fountain be blessed and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. A loving deer, a graceful doe-let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever. Proverbs 5:18-19 CSB

As our Creator, God knows us, and especially our challenges, so well.

The post TESTOSTERONE TRAP THERAPY PART 2 appeared first on Faith & Fitness Magazine.

I’LL NEVER FORGET

I was a young midshipman at the US Naval Academy in the summer of 2006 conducting my “interview” to be a Marine Officer at a three-week rigorous physical and tactical training evolution program called “Leatherneck” in Quantico, VA along with other fellow midshipmen (college students in training to be US Navy or Marine Corps officers). We were preparing for various field exercises and my Staff Platoon Commander was salty Captain Shane Groah, USMC a prior enlisted officer with a drill instructor and military police officer background. He pulled our platoon of midshipmen in close with various exhortations and said words I’ll never forget: “officers never fall out of a hike…ever…”

Shane went on to talk about his own experiences conducting various hikes (also known as humps, rucks, or road marches) where military professionals particularly on the ground side put their field packs on weighing generally anywhere from 40-100 lbs, and then march forward in columns of individuals arm length apart at a general rate of at least 3 miles per hour for distances ranging from 3-20 miles depending on the evolution in a given day. Shane in particular told a story of being on a Marine Corps Combat Readiness Evaluation (MCCRE) where he was the unit leader of a military police unit leading a grueling 20-mile hike. Given the standard rate of march, this can take up to 7 hours if not longer, and will usually start in the early morning hours to beat the heat if possible. He went on to explain how during this event his feet were blistered and hurting bad, but he knew that despite the physical pain he was in, dropping out was not an option because if a leader like himself dropped out to get into the safety vehicle, this could cause many of the Marines he was leading to conclude that they too could drop out based on the example they saw from their officer causing whole platoons and companies to come apart.

Officers, particularly commanders, typically are in the front of their units during hikes and are very visible. Furthermore, the enlisted members of the unit are looking to the officer and other senior enlisted leaders for inspiration and an example of how to conduct themselves in the midst of suffering. Having a poor performance in a grueling physical event like this demonstrates that it is “ok” to feel inclined to drop out when one feels some pain. A mentality like this especially in combat is not good and can completely bring about chaos. Hikes in general are very chaotic physical evolutions with the slinky effect going on where people move up and down in the formation. Furthermore, as people drop out or drop back, it causes command and control of the unit to really be difficult as the unit spreads out over a long distance. In training and especially in combat when a unit needs to move quickly to a battle position in order to accomplish a mission on time, this will mean mission failure…all because the officer didn’t live up to the ethos of sucking up pain in order to inspire the men and women around him/her.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY HIKES

As I began my Marine Corps career, I have to confess that hikes were not my favorite evolution as they were physically grueling and there were many times I would have rather quit given the loads we were carrying, the heat, hilly terrain, or distance, pain in my shoulders from the pack, legs, and lungs burning, etc. In my early officer training at The Basic School, I remember one particular evolution very vividly that was only about 3 miles…the distance of a typical Marine Corps Physical Fitness Test. However, this event took place during the hot summer months in Quantico somewhere on an infamous road called “Washboard” which was a roller coaster of a road. Our platoon commander was leading the charge and he was a motivator, to say the least. He pushed us at a very fast pace for us officer students looking to soon join the Fleet Marine Forces as the latest batch of junior officers. One of the other Lieutenants in my platoon was struggling and so we spread loaded gear so I was now more weighed down in the back of the formation not to mention a bit disadvantaged with my short legs given my height at 5′ 7″ compared to my taller platoon mates. So I started to drop back as I struggled to keep with the pace or run just to catch up (although usually this was discouraged because it could exaggerate the slinky effect) and in the end didn’t keep up with at least what I thought was the bulk of the platoon (it was hard to see given the hills and my place in the rear of the formation). I remember finishing even though I wanted to quit thinking of Shane Groah’s words. However, I was greeted by another snarky Lieutenant who had it out for me whenever he got a chance and in this particular instance, he said, “you [expletive] suck Reardon” which really made me feel bad although I tried to brush him off. When I got back to my room feeling pretty ashamed of myself for not having kept pace with everybody else even though I didn’t quit, I remember my roommates urging me to take off my pack and rest a bit as they laid their sprawled out. I would later learn that only 5 of the approximately 40 personnel platoon would ACTUALLY finish with our Platoon Commander and some Lieutenants were heat exhaustion cases with one of my roommates urinating on himself when he got back. Rumor had it that our platoon commander actually got in trouble because the heat conditions were actually close to the type where outdoor physical evolutions like hikes should be secured from what I recalled. So I realized I actually did pretty well overall and felt better about my performance.

Another hike early on in my career that I vividly remember was with the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines where I was the Intelligence Officer from 2011-2012 out in Camp Horno, Camp Pendleton, CA. The battalion commander wanted the staff to help him along with the Sergeant Major to carry a .50 caliber machine gun on a 12-mile hike along with our packs, M-4/M-16 assault rifles, and M9 service pistol…get some. A .50 caliber machine gun is a crew-served weapon with awesome firepower that weighs about 120 pounds. The commander to his credit would carry the receiver (the main part of the weapon) and the Sergeant Major would carry the spare barrel. My office at the time was next to the Sergeant Major and I remember him looking like the Battalion Commander went crazy, but he went along with carrying the spare barrel while the battalion. For my part, I volunteered to carry the tripod which weighs in at 40 lbs and is pretty awkward to carry and usually is balanced on your pack while carrying the rest of your stuff. Having come from the air wing prior to this tour and being an intelligence officer, I was not you may say one of the “boys” having gone through the infamous Infantry Officer’s Course like my Ground Intelligence Officer counterparts or being an infantry leader. So I certainly had to prove myself to be respected.

The first 3 miles went fairly well, but I noticed I started to feel a bit light-headed. Remembering Shane Groah’s words as if he was right there next to me, I knew that falling out of the formation was an unacceptable option and could kill my reputation for the rest of the time I was at the unit not to mention be a bad example to the enlisted Marines around me to include my own section of intelligence Marines who are sometimes hit or miss when it comes to physical performance depending on individual motivation and talent. I also foreshadowed that if I kept trying to push it, my body might just say “screw you” and I would achieve the same result as quitting let alone likely passing out and getting a rectal temperature check in front of everybody else…an embarrassing thought. While quitting wasn’t an option, passing out as an officer would also likely put me in the category of “this guy can’t hack it.” So I made a decision to take the third option, ate some humble pie, and handed off the tripod to another staff officer. Over the next 12 miles, the tripod was shared between myself and a few other staff officers including the Logistics Officer, the Navy doctors, and a few other guys. We made it together as a team and I felt proud of all of us that we held our own without dropping out.

CHARACTER TRAINING = CHARACTER STRENGTH

I bring these stories up because they serve as physical metaphors and experiences that have formed the backdrop of my character trained early on that applies not only to my career as a Marine Corps Officer with 15+ years active duty now, but also in life as a husband, father, and leader within Christian circles a.k.a. the Church. I have been called to lead myself, my family, my fellow warriors, my fellow citizens, and my brothers and sisters in the Church. Many are watching me all the time even though I often don’t know it or perceive it. In physical training with my Marines or during difficult evolutions during training or real-world operations, it would be easy to quit or slack off on holding myself up to a higher standard. It would be very easy for me to “fall out” or “drop my pack”, but I recognize that if I do, there is a real danger that many others would do so as well. One of my friends, Jeremy Stalnecker, the Executive Director of Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs, wrote a book called “March or Die” based on his experiences as a Marine Corps Infantry Officer in the initial invasion of Iraq. He describes from physical combat experience with analogies to the spiritual realm from a Christian perspective how when things get hard, we have two choices: march…or die. Dying might not mean physical death, but it may mean death in a relationship, a dream, etc.

LESSONS FOR YOUR LIFE “HIKE”

To get really personal here, I think about my initial lessons learned as a Marine Corps Officer hiking or from inspiration from men I respect like Jeremy or Admiral McRaven when I think of initiatives at home or at work. At home, I am a husband and a father. When I swore an oath (military terms for saying my marital vows) to my wife before God that I would love her for better or for worse…in sickness and in health…and to be faithful to her only, I didn’t realize how in a few short months those very words would be put to an extreme test. A few short weeks after getting married my wife informed me that she was pregnant and soon she started having severe symptoms of morning sickness followed by a long period of health challenges that created many challenges in our relationship exacerbated by spiritual warfare. The emotional pain of it has tempted me to quit on my family or quit on following God’s way given to me from his Word a.k.a. the Bible or the Holy Spirit’s prophetic direction to me given through many godly men and women at various times over a decade in various locations. In particular, I knew that I was called to be a major influential leader for godly influence in the nation to spread the message of Jesus but also as a government leader with a God-given plan to have significant influence and authority inside the US Federal Government. The enemy however would regularly tempt me to abandon these plans instead of taking a path of life with seemingly more comfort and stability if he couldn’t tempt me to give into blatantly disobeying God’s Word. On top of this, I was regularly reminded by the enemy of failures of the past such as a Chapter 7 bankruptcy stemming from a failed business venture in 2016, having ministry activities face opposition and delay, or career challenges like finding out I was passed over for promotion for O-5 putting me at significant risk of being potentially forced out of the Marine Corps despite my high level of documented performance.

Amplifying all of this over the course of a long desert season that is still at play (7 + years now ongoing), I then would receive comments from Christian friends and mentors in my life that in summary would seem that I was facing all of my struggles because I was doing something wrong and certainly not following the will of God much like Job’s friends did in the book of Job. I found myself lonely whether looking for fellowship, support, or partnership and life seemed like quicksand or Lilly pads I was constantly trying to negotiate while always keeping my eyes on the Lord as I walked towards Him in the midst of the storms of life. COVID-19 exacerbated these difficulties as it did for everybody as my ministry model was rapidly shut down in 2020 almost as soon as it started an overseas 13-month unaccompanied tour where I uprooted from a support network in New Orleans, quickly built one in Bahrain, and then struggled to develop a new one in San Diego, CA. Coming back from an overseas tour, I came back to a lot of challenges in my family due to health conditions including dealing with the hardship of supporting my wife and son through a cancer diagnosis and follow on brutal treatment protocols with the final death of my beloved father in law early in 2022. I suffered, prayed, and worked hard in obscurity with nobody aside from the Lord for the most part seeing my secret faith and perseverance or at least commending me for it. For sure I had made some mistakes that I later realized were not in line with God’s Word because instead, I had based my decision-making on feelings, interpretation of positive circumstances, and watching other Christians making similar decisions find success. Other mistakes were simply the cost of being a pioneer where there is no road map and it is part of the journey. Regardless, every day I decided that I would not quit no matter what. I would die physically before I ever quit. I made an active choice of a posture that essentially said: “death before dishonor.” I made a decision and have kept to that decision that no power of hell can steer me to drop out of the hike of my life. Why? Because I recognize that my afflictions are truly temporary compared to the eternal glory that awaits me with reward from heaven when I look back at the legacy I am in the midst of creating and the eternal difference of true life I will pave for many to follow in my footsteps.

As a military man, I have considered very carefully with conviction and peace in my heart that if God calls me to danger to face the barrels of guns which leads to my own physical death on the battlefield and I don’t get to be in my young son’s life as he grows up, then that is ok. I believe with strong faith that God will protect me but even if he doesn’t, much like Daniel’s friends who faced the fiery furnace in the book of Daniel instead of bowing to an idol, we must consider the reality that God for His own purposes may not save us from physical harm in order to bring glory to Himself. Our job is to simply trust and obey regardless of the consequences. In fact, I’m truly not afraid of death or how I will face it. The other day I saw a post on Facebook by Adam Davis, a former police officer turned evangelist who spoke about a dream he had where he was observing his funeral when thunderous words from God echoed stating “did you do what I created you to do?” That really has stuck with me because I want nothing more than at the end of my life to hear the precious words from Jesus “well done, my good and faithful servant.” To get to heaven and learn that because of fear, laziness, or indifference that my life on earth was wasted for eternity would be terrible knowing life could have been so much different. I cringe at looking back from heaven thinking “what if”. As my mentor Kurt Parsons told me one fateful night when time seemed to stop driving over a bridge near Annapolis, MD, “Christopher, we get one life to live…so go big or go home.” I have never forgotten that. As one of the most famous quotes in the movie Gladiator goes, “what we do in life echos in eternity.” I can’t control external circumstances, but as long as I’m alive and persevering, God has maneuverable room to glorify Himself. If I decide to quit, He’ll get glory elsewhere, but not through my decision to give up. God help me if I ever choose to do so. I hope that the reader of this post will never quit on God’s plan for their life either. Our life’s legacy and the eternal life to come for us and many others are too much at stake for us to seriously consider quitting. In the New Testament, a letter to Jewish Christians who were tempted to quit in the midst of hardship, confusion, and persecution that was very well costing some of their lives on this earth exhorts the following:

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood [in a modern context, you aren’t dead yet] in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, ‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the LORD nor faint when you are reproved by Him; for those whom the LORD loves He disciplines, for those whom the LORD loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives. It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:1-3)           

Jesus also exhorts his followers:

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds.” (Matthew 16:24-27) 

6 PRINCIPLES TO HELP YOU NOT FALL OUT OF YOUR LIFE’S HIKE … EVER

So, how do we do it? How do we keep trucking when hell seems to throw the kitchen sink at us and life brings us to our knees? I will give a few principles here:

1. Determine in your heart your convictions ahead of time that you will never quit on. “Set aside Jesus as Lord in your heart” first. (1 Peter 3:15, Luke 14:26). This means Biblical values, loyalty to key people in your life such as your family, commitments to key goals, and commitment to your dreams; especially God-given ones with albeit flexibility and patience in seeing them through. to commit to the task at hand no matter what until your external circumstances keep you from staying on your particular path. You must also count the cost of what you are willing to lose in order to gain something of value. This may mean for example that in order to follow God’s call, you may have to disappoint or even lose family and friends opposed to His way for you, let go of a work-related position, sacrifice material resources, or even your own very physical life. Anything less leaves open the door to fear and second-guessing to steal your conviction.
2. Ask for help from God and from others. The Bible says that “pride goes before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18) and that “God gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6) meaning support. Jesus also says that “He is the vine and we are the branches…unless we remain rooted in Him, we have no power.” (John 15:5) Given that the collective organization of the Church is the “Body of Christ”, we gain the ability to bear fruit and His grace by remaining connected to His Body (1 Corinthians 12:12-28)Our relationship with God must be solid and we must depend on Him. We also must seek out friends to walk regularly with who will lift us up. To paraphrase the wisest man to ever live according to the Bible, Solomon from his words written in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “two are better than one for they can help each other succeed..but one standing alone can be attacked and easily defeated.” Just like I sought out the help of my fellow staff officers on the hike in Camp Pendleton to share the load among ourselves to avoid our mission failure or my physical passing out along with the emotional support from my fellow platoon mates after a grueling hike at The Basic School, so you and I are not meant to do life alone. We need God and others, especially Christian brothers and sisters in our lives to give us support in all types of ways and are called to support them (Hebrews 10:25, Galatians 6:1-3).
3. Eat the elephant…one bite at a time. Focus on your next immediate step or steps. It is easy especially when the road has been long and painful and the road ahead is filled with either known or unknown obstacles with no seeming end to the pain that your mind gets the overwhelming urge to quit. Compartmentalize the pain and focus on the reality that you can do the next thing you are called to. You have the strength, the knowledge, and the guts. When you complete that, focus on the next thing ahead. As the old song goes, “put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door.” Another good quote is “yard by yard it is hard…inch by inch it is a cinch.” It has been said that the mind is ready to quit when you have only given 40% of the true physical capacity you have when you still have 60% of the physical ability to still march on.
4. Calm your nerves and heart rate in a difficult emotional or physical situation through tactical breathing. Your breathing is one of two aspects of your autonomous nervous system you can control (blinking being the other) and so it can slow your heart rate, and your adrenaline in order to get your brain back into logical thinking vs. fight or flight “freak out mode”.
5. Practice positive self-talk vs. negative self-talk. A retired Navy SEAL friend of mine told me a story where he was at BUDS and woke up to a student telling himself in the mirror that “nobody will look down on you for quitting.” That same student was one of the first the next day to ring the bell. My friend on the other hand decided he had no Plan B and although he was not as fit as other students and even was slightly on the heavier side, he outlasted many others and not only went on to do a 20-year career in the Navy SEALs but ended up having his two sons also become Navy SEALs with one of them even going to the infamous SEAL Team 6. A Christian friend of mine, Robert Owens, who is an endurance athlete with the claim of being the “fittest 66-year-old” says to say things in your head like “easy day, I got this”. I like to think of Bible verses like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) or “I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:37). Remember, the body feels and eventually acts on where the mind goes. If your mind is negative, you are sure to feel and act out on your mental state. Dr. Caroline Leaf, a Christian neuroscientist, describes the effect of both the positive and negative on our brain cells when we meditate on either positive or negative thinking. She teaches that science has proven the Biblical exhortation “as a man thinketh, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7) because our thoughts literally form brain cells and have real physical-chemical effects on our body and emotions. Thoughts determine our emotions and emotions determine our behaviors. If you want to change your emotions, change your thoughts. I literally went through this today while waiting at a military gate unexpectedly that was shut down causing me to be late to a meeting. I practiced positive self-talk telling myself I couldn’t control the event, the event would pass, and I might as well just sit and be patient. As a result, I stayed calm and felt at peace. On the other hand, I was tempted to get impatient, angry, and start to worry which would have done nothing other than put me in a bad mood.
6. Take care of yourself physically. Get adequate rest every night, hydrate regularly, eat right, train for difficult events, and keep your muscles stretched. Physical pain from not taking care of yourself physically exacerbates emotional and mental pain like a self-inflicted gunshot wound. We see multiple times through the Bible the practical wisdom of nourishment and rest to keep on going including the admonishment of an angel to the prophet Elijah who told him to eat and drink after he got some rest because he was “freaking out” and needed strength for the journey right after he had a major victory over the enemies of God when a wicked queen told him she was going to take his life (1 Kings 19:4-8).

FOLLOW GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY

In closing my friends, when life gets hard, especially in the conduct of doing God’s work, keep your pack on and keep marching. Many are watching you. If you fall out, it is likely your choice will also cause others to fall out too. On the flip side, your commitment to persevere will likely inspire others in hard times to keep going too. For men especially, our decision to follow God wholeheartedly statistically has such an outsized impact on your family. It has been said that when a father/husband is following the Lord that there is a 70% chance of his kids attending church for the long haul even after the kids grow up. If it is only the mother/wife, there is about a 30% chance that the kids will stick with their faith. So for you men out there for the sake of your wives and your kids, your spiritual walk affects them and can either propel them forward into the great plans God has for them or play a significant role in dragging them down in the plans the enemy has. Outside of our immediate family, our extended relatives, our friends, our co-workers, neighbors, and many others we may never meet are depending on seeing the Bible lived out in practice. If not you, then who, and if not now, then when? Life isn’t about me and it isn’t about you and the stakes of the game are literally for eternity. Yes, we matter, but others do as well and so we must keep fighting the good fight of faith knowing that in the end, our trials will end. For God, Family, Country, and ultimately the Kingdom of God, we must keep our pack on and keep trucking.

If you are interested in receiving more training to develop spiritual, mental, and physical toughness like what I mentioned above, I encourage you to join our Tactical Garage Gym Facebook Group where we provide free weekend “Hero Workout of the Day” workouts with Christian YouTube content to listen to either by yourself or with friends from your garage gym as part of our Garage Gym Church initiative!

Land of the Free Because of the Brave,

Chris Reardon

Major, USMC

Founder/Executive Director

Freedom Fitness America

“Fit for the Fight and Life”

https://freedomfitnessamerica.org

“The appearance of U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) visual information does not imply or constitute DoD endorsement.”

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Testosterone Trap Trauma is related to marriage in that marriage solves a lot of the problems brought on by boys and young men living through the Testosterone Trap period in their lives. This is the time in a boy and then young man’s life, generally between ages 15 and 25 when they will experience the highest testosterone levels in their lives. Testosterone causes a great deal of acting out on the part of young males in this age group. Much of it is meant to be impressive to members of the opposite sex.

YOUNG AND RECKLESS MALES

It leads to a high level of risk-taking and sometimes life-threatening situations. Even before this adolescent time frame, because of the influence of testosterone on male brains before birth, boys experience near drowning nearly twice as frequently as girls and die from drowning four times as frequently as girls. For every girl that gets seriously burned by fire, three boys sustain similar burns, boys are injured and killed more frequently than girls while riding bikes, on playground equipment, and during sports activities. For every girl who is injured on playground, four boys are.

MALE DANGER ZONE 15-25

During the 15 to 25-year-old time phase of life that I call The Danger Zone, males have approximately a four times greater chance of death by homicide, suicide, drug overdose, and car accident than females of the same age. Most of this violence is practiced against males in the same age group. Men killing men occurs 30 to 50 times more often than women killing women. Males murdering other males occurs most from ages 18 to 25 and more frequently in unmarried rather than married men. Around two thirds of males killing males results from social conflict rather than crime. And here’s a very important point, more than half of these murders are related to status competition.

When young males get into a competition with each other their testosterone rises. It also rises when they are around attractive females. This is most especially true if the young men are not romantically committed to anyone. The winner of the competition continues to experience his testosterone rising and the loser experiences a drop. This unfortunate scenario plays out in gangs in cities around the world. The gangs provide a substitute for the family that the young man is missing coming from. There are very few positive male role models in many of these young men’s lives. This situation is a recipe for disaster for many of our young men. Also, think of the tragedy of school shootings. What percentage of the shooters are males 15 to 25 years old? I think we all know the answer to that question already. Having a place that boys and young men can call home and a traditional family is a huge advantage!

EXCESS TESTOSTERONE PHYSICALLY UNHEALTHY

Not only is excess testosterone bad for young men behaviorally, continued high levels of it is bad for them physiologically as well. Across God’s creation, male creatures only carry high levels of testosterone during their mating season. For instance, in the fall male deer sport antlers with which to fight other male deer in order to display dominance and be able to mate with the females in the herd. As soon as mating season is over their testosterone levels drop and they shed their antlers.

Testosterone it turns out, is an immune system suppressive hormone. A male creature has to be very fit and healthy to have even temporary high levels of it. Estrogen on the other hand is an immune enhancing hormone. That is one of the reasons that human females on average outlive males. This overall picture of male-focused harm is what I have named Testosterone Trap Trauma. Like Natural Lifestyle Matching, most people are unaware of this phenomenon to their detriment.

GOD’S REMEDIES

Fortunately, our maker God knows all about how we are made and how we function. In Part 2 we are going to learn about His wise instructions to young men in these areas. For right now, I will point out that Proverbs chapters 5 through 7 illuminates much wisdom that is focused on and communicated to young men in this area specifically. I am not aware of any other similar instructions given to young adult females in the Bible about their sexuality.

“Though the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey and her words are smoother than oil, in the end she is bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword” Proverbs 5: 3-4 CSB

At your convenience, please read those chapters of Proverbs and I believe you will see what I mean. We will also see in Part 2 how Marvelous and Magnificent Marriage, as God designed it, helps solve many of these self-destructive problems.

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